A lot of the women I’ve known like shoes.  A pair for this, a pair for that.  A pair that goes with black pants and pair that goes with white shorts.  Many times, the many shoes have become the punch line in many jokes.  Sometimes they were even funny.  Now, I don’t match my shoes to my shirts.   I’m not ashamed.  I have one pair of shoes I wear in the winter and one pair of sandals I wear in the summer.    A fact I point out quite frequently.   More frequently if I’m stuck at the mall in the shoe store.

What she doesn’t know is I do the same thing every time I walk into a sporting goods store.  However, when it comes to what to pack for a specific hunting trip, that’s a whole different story altogether.  Rubber boots, pack boots, hiking boots, tennis shoes and waders are all in my footwear arsenal.   Light socks, wool socks-I’ve even got battery powered socks stuffed somewhere in the back of my sock drawer that I got for Christmas one year.  Why they take D batteries, I’ll never know.  It’s like wearing ankle weights.

Blue jeans, camo jeans, light bibs, cold weather bibs, chaps, and coveralls.  Rain gear, camo vest, blaze vest, camo long sleeve, camo sweatshirt, waterfowl jacket, and of course my heavy blaze orange parka for those days that make people shake their heads and wonder about my sanity.  Face mask, face shield, baklava, stocking cap, baseball cap and camo sunglasses “cap” off the upper portion of my camo closet combinations.

It was 90 degrees in the stand yesterday.  The mild (see: awesome) winter we had last year kept the temps in the 40s/50s. The year before?  The thermometer made some snide comment and ran back in the house.  You need to dress for the hunt.  Warm weather?  Cold weather?  Will you be sitting or walking?   I won’t even get into the need for different camo patterns for different landscapes.  I also won’t bring up my snow camo shells that I can wear over anything.   That’d be a whole ‘nother blog.

I went as light as I could yesterday while still operating in stealth mode.   I didn’t move for nearly two hours and looked like Phoebe Cates coming out of the pool in Fast Times when I climbed down the ladder.  Of course she climbed up a ladder and was attractive and in a partial bikini.  The point was…wait, what was my point again?  All it takes is one walk through tall grass with one layer too many to realize that you need to plan your system better.  If you have the willpower to maintain an outdoors journal, don’t just note what you bagged and where you were.  Write down the weather conditions and what you wore.  It might keep you from trying to air out the insides as the buck of a lifetime casts a wary glance in your direction.

So plan accordingly, drink lots of fluids on hot days and try not to give your significant other too much of a hard time next time she comes home with a new pair of shoes.  Just know that it means you can get a new shotgun.

Or at least a new pair of hunting boots.